Another Road Block...

This is the story of our lives! After lots of thought, Adam and I have decided to do more infertility treatments...and we are NOT travelling across the country to do them! Long-story-short...our odds of success out of town really were not likely to be that different. Knowing this (via second opinions), I just couldn't see spending many thousands of dollars to sit in a hotel room for 8-12 days per attempt getting shots and not being able to "do" anything except for think about what I was losing in practice revenue here in Shelbyville.

We are planning to change to a VERY different protocol next year, which requires a "trial run" of sorts. Since we already knew this was likely in our future, we were excited to start the trial today...even knowing that it involved daily hip injections of estrogen in castor oil! So, Adam and I made our super early pilgrimage to Nashville this morning for bloodwork, an ultrasound, and a talk with our doc. We had a couple of small cysts still hanging out on the left ovary (from the IVF/IUI cycle), but everything else looked good. Our doc explained his opinion of our last cycle and gave me a thorough explanation of why he made his decisions...somewhat defensively. (He knew I wasn't very happy with the last round...thanks to the office manager and nurse!) I was very satisfied with his explanations and told him that had this been explained to me 2 weeks ago...lots of issues could have been avoided! But, we left on good terms and great spirits...and he was more relaxed as well! Heck...if I hated him or really didn't trust him...I would NOT have been sitting in his office this morning!

I went to the office and worked most of the day. Around 3, the boulder blocked the road! Anita called to inform us that my estrogen level was 353 (which was down from the 1353 it was last Thursday). Unfortunately, it had to be less than 60 for us to start the trial-run. And just to refresh your memory...this is the same stupid number that was too low and caused us to not get to do our IVF cycle this month. So...it's like Goldilocks and the Three Bears...too low...too high...etc. The plan now is to start birth control pills (don't EVEN get me started on the irony of this) and complete a month of them. After that, we can have another set of bloodwork and another ultrasound in hopes of starting the trial again during the week of Thanksgiving.

So...there's your update! I'm not crushed. I'm actually very calm and can't help but find some humor in this! Heck...we can fail now before even starting! Plus, since the "real" cycle can't happen until next year anyway...we have a little time!

BTW If we ever get a baby (or more)...YES...I probably will be a neurotic nut! After this, how could I not be???

Another Failure...

Kind of wish this is how it really worked sometimes!
I guess there's not much to say other than that we attempted another IVF cycle and it "officially" failed today. Technically, we never even made it to the egg retrieval this round and were more-or-less forced to "settle" for an IUI (intrauterine insemination). It was that or nothing... In the end...it was nothing either way.
This cycle was physically and emotionally much harder for me. It started off so nicely, but when it went south...it REALLY went south! The good news is that I have been so upset since October 4 (the day the cycle was cancelled) that the "official" failure today was nothing more than a formality.
If there's anything I learned from this cycle, it's that I CAN handle quite a bit more than I thought I could! I've also learned that we have exhausted the capabilities of our region and IF we are truly serious about having genetic children, then we are going to have to travel (and I'm talking more than to Nashville)! We are looking into two world-famous clinics in the western US and have one phone consultation scheduled for next Friday. If we have a good feeling, we will be travelling sometime likely early next year. If not, we'll look into other options.
We've had lots of support this round from our families and close friends, and for that...I am grateful. I'm not sure what our future holds...but I'm just praying there's a baby in it somewhere. Otherwise, I'll ultimately just have to accept the fact that it's not meant for us and be thrilled to have an amazing husband and loving family to share my life with!

A Tiny Ray of Hope...

Today has been full of ups and downs. I woke up after a restless night at 5 am to get ready to head back to Nashville with Adam. After some tears in the shower and some on the road up, we made it to Nashville around 7:30am. Adam had to produce his specimen and then we were faced with about 80 minutes to kill. Because today was retrieval day, there were several women with their Moms and friends (likely egg donors) and several couples. It was kind of hard to watch them come and go, knowing that we were supposed to be in that group. Once Adam finished, we went over to Starbucks for breakfast. We "people-watched" for a bit, then it was back to the office by 9:20am for our 9:30 am time. I knew the retrievals were still going, based on waiting room activity...so I could tell that we would be waiting this time. (The one time we've ever waited more than 15 minutes was this one...which stunk.)

At about 10:15am, they finally took us back. After some vitals and consents, I was undressed and ready to go. Dr. V brought in the sperm analysis report and showed it to Adam. We were SHOCKED! The last spun sperm (after the lifeless ones were removed) count for Adam was 760,000 (normal is 60-100 million). This time, Adam's spun count was 6.64 million!!! That's WAYYYY more than he has ever had! And, anything over 5 million gives IUI a chance of success! The procedure went quickly and easily. Dr. V offered for Adam to "do the honors," but Adam politely refused. When I asked him why later, he said, "If it fails, I don't want to feel like I was the one who caused it." I certainly wouldn't have felt that way, but I could see his point. Once the procedure was done, I sat up thinking it was time to dress and head out. I was immediately guided back down by Dr. V and told I had to lay flat for 20 minutes. It was boring, to say the least! During the wait, we were given our next set of instructions for meds (more shots...yeah)and I responded to some texts. After the 20 minute timer went off, I dressed and we headed to the car to head home. Adam insisted that I lay back with my feet up, so as to enable his "swimmers" to get to their destination! He was over-the-moon about his "high" numbers...to the point where I'm pretty sure there will soon be a framed copy placed somewhere within his "man-cave/office!"

I know better than to celebrate, but I at least don't feel like today was a total waste of time, gas, and especially my mental sanity. While our prayers never had anything to do with sperm counts and real possibilities, God knew what we really needed. And to those of you who have prayed for us.... THANK YOU! Your prayers were answered for us today! And really, today is all that matters right now.

We are truly blessed with wonderful families and friends! Thank you all!

If It Wasn't For Bad Luck...

I guess the old saying, "If it wasn't for bad luck, we'd have no luck at all," holds true to us again... Everything in this cycle seemed perfect, until Monday. On Monday, our labs took a big dive. While we hoped it was a "pharmacological" response to a decrease in the meds, I KNEW it was more. On Tuesday, our (ok...MY fears) were validated. Despite a HUGE dose of stimulation medications, our numbers barely rose and our follicles didn't grow. So, we were basically told that the odds of success were slim with IVF and that our cycle was being cancelled. Because we did have a few decent follicles, they offered us IUI (intrauterine insemination) as a "salvage" procedure.

Tomorrow morning, we will head to Nashville for the IUI. The odds of success are slim to none, but basically...it's this or nothing. Since I had already planned to be off, I am going to take the day tomorrow to relax and give this the best shot possible (all 1% of it).
Once this fails, we are going to take a break until next year... I can't speak for Adam, but I NEED a break. For the next 2 weeks, we'll continue with 3 injections per day (2 Lovenox and 1 Progesterone/Estrogen combo)...which means more bruising for me. I figure it's like a torture sentence...but know that IF a miracle occured and we did get pregnant, we'd lose the pregnancy without it.

So...once again...with very heavy hearts, it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe not ever...guess we'll just see what the future holds.

We Are Back!

Nice pic, not sure about Adam's "lazy" eye!
Adam on the trail...

Starting off...


"Real men..."



This weekend, I decided I needed to get out of town! I was not on call and Dr. M gratiously agreed to round on my one patient for me. I knew that I wasn't really comfortable being several miles back in the woods with no cell phone reception while on aspirin and Lovenox...so this was our last hike for at least a few weeks (hopefully for much longer)!
Mom, Dad, and Trey left Thursday for Pigeon Forge; while Adam and I left after work on Friday. On Saturday morning, we had a great breakfast at the Apple Barn together. Trey, Adam, and I then headed up to Cosby, TN to Cosby Cove, a portion of the Great Smokey Mountain National Park. We really didn't have time to make our "usual" 5-7 mile hike secondary to the shorter days, so we chose a 4.4 mile hike to Hen Wallow Falls.
The ascent was a nice climb...for 2.1 miles. The last 0.1 mile was straight down a rocky, rooty, and VERY slick path! The falls were flowing very nicely and were quite beautiful! We enjoyed them for about 15 minutes then made our way back to the parking area. It was an absolutely perfect day for a hike and I am SOOOOO glad we went!
BTW...I got stung AGAIN by a yellow jacket on the trail! For those who have followed the blog for a long time, you may remember that this happened a couple of years ago. I ended up with a whelp that covered my entire flank! This round, it was on my left leg. For now, it's about 4"x2" in size. I suspect that it'll "grow" to about twice that within the next 2 days...if history repeats itself. Gotta LOVE sensitive skin with delayed-type hypersensitivity!
I'm now back home. My meds are all set for the week (injections that can be "pre-drawn" are ready and pills are in the organizer). I feel rested, calm, and just ready to get the process started tomorrow. Overall, the weekend was a perfect getaway for Adam and I to spend time with Trey and my parents...AND to relax! Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Monday It Is!

Well, just got back from a rainy wet drive to Nashville. Today was the day that we went in to be sure that we are "suppressed." In layman's terms, to see if we were in chemical menopause yet... While I don't know the results of the bloodwork, I can tell you that the ultrasound definitely says that we are! My ovaries were tiny today...which is a good thing (relatively speaking)!
Anita and I met (she says her quickest "calendar talk" in a long time) to review the calendar. I got my blood drawn, Dr. V did a quick ultrasound, and I was on my way. I guess you could say that we are now "regulars" because EVERY person in that office knows me by name!
We are heading to the Smokeys this weekend to relax, maybe hike (weather permitting), and to get ready for this next phase... For sure, we will be on 11-12 pills per day and 4 injections per day. We'll head back next Wednesday to see how things are progressing....
For those who have the time or can take it, please send prayers and warm thoughts our way! This is a BIG deal for us (though sometimes I think mainly me) and we'd LOVE for it to maybe work. Our odds are low for success (less than 15%), but this is our last round before having to move to some major protocol changes...
Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Why Two When You Can Have Four???

There never seems to be a dull moment in our lives! Yesterday, while slaving away in our wound care clinic, I got a call from CRH in Nashville. I guess Anita missed me, because she called to ask me if I had talked to Dr. Vasquez. I said, "Um...no... Should I be worried?" She went on to tell me that the studies from my blood-letting last month had come back...finally. When the panel was drawn, it was to look for antibodies and other lab anomalies that would increase the risk of spontaneous placental clotting..which is a HUGE factor in miscarriages and complications of some pregnancies. It also could explain why, despite being relatively "pretty," Scrappy A and Scrappy B didn't "stick." (If you don't know who these are/were, I guess you'll be reading the previous blog posts!) The panel tested for 23 things. Being my typical overachieving self, I didn't test with one high (which is a bad thing) value...I got 8 "highs."
So, I'll be you are wondering what this means. Well, it means that had we not done this, we could have gone through multiple IVF cycles only to miscarry. I am VERY thankful our doc tested early, as this could save us lots of heartbreak (which I'd argue we've had plenty this year).
The good news is that this problem is "easily" fixed... All we need is Lovenox, a prescription blood-thinner. And we only need it until we fail the cycle OR until we go into labor. Yep...this is a LONG commitment! I was, however, very thankful to get the call today from the pharmacy. The girl initially told me that we qualified for free shipping, to which my first thought was heck yeah...because you are about to tell me that it costs half of my mortgage every month! But, she went on to say that the drug (with our insurance who approved it immediately) was only going to cost $7/month... AMAZING! (If you think medication costs are high...try buying infertility medications!)
Now, if you are wondering about the title of the post...here goes. Instead of 2 shots per day (plus an almost daily blood draw in Nashville), we now get to take 4 (and we STILL get that almost daily drive to Nashville to take my blood)! I'm trying to mentally prepare myself to me a human pin cusion...and it's NOT easy! The meds arrive Friday and I'm imagining that we will be "stimming" by next Monday. 2 more days before the sticking (well...we are already on 1 shot a day...but I'm talking about the 4 deal), ultrasounds, drives to Nashville, and afternoon phone calls begin. Wish us luck!!! Again, why 2 when you can have 4???