Happy Thanksgiving

I've been mulling over this post for days now, just trying to decide how I could best communicate my feelings about 2012.  As I have done in years past, my Thanksgiving post is a reflection on the year and a moment for me to pause and truly, count my blessings.  This year is no exception!

Last year, to be honest, I had a hard time.  I actually had to really think about my blessings, as it seemed like the proverbial "everything went wrong kind-of-year."  I certainly realized that I WAS blessed and fortunate, it just took some work and perspective to focus on the positive.  In the end though, I found lots of positives and included them in my post (which can be found in the November 2011 archives to your right).

This year, so much has changed!  2012 hasn't been a perfect year, but it HAS been full of things and people to be thankful for.  Here are the top 7:

1.  My faith in God.  Somehow, I doubt this will ever not be on the top of my list!  This year, however, I feel closer to God that ever before.  I know I've prayed more than ever, and believe Adam has as well.  While church-going hasn't been a strong point for me, reading has...and I have certainly learned quite a bit about my personal faith by reading some great spiritual literature this year.  I've realized just how insignificant some things are, and just how amazing God's gifts can be.  For my faith and God, I am very thankful.

2.  Adam.  I simply couldn't ask for a better husband.  In 6 years of marriage, we've weathered many storms together and somehow...still enjoy our lives together as a couple.  Adam is so many qualities that I'm not (more cautious, patient, calmer, and always emotionally "composed"), and I truly appreciate these!  I've never had to question his love or faithfulness to me, which I realize is a blessing that many women simply don't enjoy.  For everything about Adam (other than his morning-grouchiness), I am grateful!

3.  My family.  This probably won't change either!  This has been a heck of a year for the Dampier family.  At this time last year, Leslee (my sister) could barely walk or climb steps because of her recurrent scoliosis and failed childhood surgery.  After 20 hours in the OR and many weeks/months of hospitalization and therapy, my sister can walk upright and live a MUCH better life!  Mom and Dad are blessed with great health and the ability to travel (thanks to a wonderful boss) whenever they desire.  And Trey is doing well in his second year of residency.  None of us see each other as much as we would like as a whole family, but we definitely love each other and treasure our time when we are all together!  I thank God every day for my family and feel super blessed to have parents and siblings who love and care about me and each other so much.

4.  Fonzie.  At 14.5 years old, this little dog is still my pride and joy!  While he's showing his age, he's still full of personality and brings so much joy to Adam and I on a daily basis.  He's a great bedrest buddy, loves Adam and I unconditionaly, and is truly our first baby.  I'm so very grateful for the years we've had with him!

5.  My friends.  In many ways, my friends have taken a "back seat" in my life this year.  In some ways, I realized that I probably depended on and expected too much of them at times (for support only) in the past and seemed to be constantly disappointed in them.  As a result, I learned that friends were just that...friends.  I no longer expect anything from my friends and simply try to enjoy the moments I have to talk with them, text, and visit on the few opportunities that we have to be together.  I'm also thankful for my FF/DE friends, as your support and friendships have been wonderful these past 2 years.  Having friends in "my same shoes" has been a gift that I'll always cherish!  I love each and every friend, and for that I am thankful. 

6.  My career.  In December, I'll be closing my office in Shelbyville and moving my practice to Hendersonville, Tennessee.  I've been blessed with a decent practice in Shelbyville, but will never achieve my potential in a town this small.  Plus, Adam and I will be happier in a larger community!  Because of good fiscal management and a good work ethic, I have secured my loan for the new practice and am grateful for the opportunity to live and build a practice in a great community next year!

7.  My pregnancy!  Last year, I was thankful for my infertility.  This year, I'm no less infertile (probably more infertile, actually...if that could possibly exist), but I AM pregnant with twins!  Today marks 25.5 weeks into my pregnancy, and I'm super-blessed to be feeling and doing wonderfully.  The road has been a long, rocky, torturous path for Adam and I, but thanks to modern medicine and a physician and staff who never gave up on us, we are closer than ever before to bringing home our "Little Sawinskis."  We are super thankful for Dr. Vasquez and Anita (our main nurse) for all they have done for us and put up with this past 18 months, and just hope they realize how much joy they bring into the lives of couples like us!  For all of the inconviences and worry that my pregnancy has brought us, I am VERY thankful!

There are many other things I am thankful for, but these are the "highlights."  I never dreamed I'd be typing a Thanksgiving post while feeling little kicks and jabs across my belly while doing it...I just figured that our attempts to get pregnant were a way to eventually close a chapter in our lives and be able to confidently say, "We tried everything."  Truly, we pretty-much did...and by God's grace, it finally worked!  I live a challenging life, but a charmed life as well.  I have so many things and people I'm grateful for.  If you are reading this, you are someone I AM thankful for!  God Bless you all and thank you for being blessings in my life!

24 Weeks 5 Days

For those who have asked over and over again, here is one pregnancy photo!  Yes, I am starting to show a bit, though still not exactly "huge."  Other than a bad cold this week, I feel really good and am doing well according to our physicians.  The babies seems to be growing nicely and appear developmentally perfect at this point.  We are in the early stages of beginning to make some baby-related purchases, as I am pretty sure these next 2.5 months are going to fly by!

I'll plan to post my Thanksgiving post later this week, but figured I'd better hurry up and get an update on here before I get 50 more "requests" for pregnancy photos!

21 Week Update

Conversing...

Our little girl playing "shy."  She was rolling away from us with her arm above her head!

Sibling kisses...or butting heads...hard to say!

Today, Adam and I went to Murfreesboro for our second anatomy scan for the babies.  Our morning started with me stepping on Fonzie (in the dark) and running a pinch late.  Once we were on the road, we arrived on time only to wait 15 minutes in the waiting room.  We were the only ones there for 2.5 hours!

We went back around 8:20am and started the ultrasound.  About 95 minutes later, we were done!  Both babies seemed to be doing well.  I didn't get an estimated weight or length, but can tell you that both were measuring a few days smaller...especially our little girl.  This wasn't a concern to the ultrasonographer and we didn't get any calls from the MFM, so we are taking those as signs that all is well!  For those who have had twins and would actually care, my cervix is still a rock at 43mm...which is my baseline length...so no early thinning for me (at least so far)!

Both babies are now breech with their heads about 2" above my belly-button.  While I'm only 21 weeks and 4 days, I measure somewhere around 26-27 weeks!  They like to lay head-to-head and are constantly hitting and kicking each other...as if they WANT to be touching all the time!  Our little boy was the hyper one today, while our little girl was a pinch more mellow.  So...who knows how they'll be once they are born??? 

We continue to be super-thankful for these tiny blessings and are amazed at how they are changing our lives with every day that comes closer to their births.  While we've been hesitant, and still are, I did break down and buy 2 little hats to keep their heads warm in the hospital today on Etsy.  We plan to stick with tiny things until we hit 25 weeks...then the car seats, bedside sleeper, and stroller purchases will need to be made! 

I'll try to get Adam to take some pregnancy photos this weekend and get them posted. Basically, I've gained 13 pounds and just look fatter...not necessarily pregnant.  Oh well...can't win everything!

Our kids are already taking after us...

Yesterday, we had another follow up appointment at the Nashville Maternal Fetal Medicine group.  We knew it was our day for the lovely cultures (got to be sure we don't carry any STDs) and a quick check on my cervix.  As usual, we arrived early in Nashville and decided to have a quick breakfast at Krispy Kreme.  We ate 2 "Halloween" doughnuts and I had some milk...trying to balance the heartburn risk! 

Around 8:45am, we walked into the clinic.  There were several ladies there and a family with 2 little girls...still in blanket sleepers!  The little girls proceeded to yell, scream, and pour juice/milk all over the seating in the office...while Mom and Dad played with their cell phones.  Another lady who was clearly pregnant (more than me) didn't even know the name of her Ob-Gyn who sent her to the office, which was fascinating!  And 2 other ladies came in nasty sweatpants, dirty shirts, and old bedroom shoes.  Heck...in scrubs, I was the best dressed patient there!  Guess our society is really sad these days!

We went back around 9:30am and were seen initially by the office manager.  It was great, because she realized how far I had to travel and how running late was kind of an issue...so I'm thinking we'll get in and out a little quicker from here forward!  I did a quick urinalysis, had blood drawn, and had my cultures with our doc.  I then crossed the hall with a sheet around my waist (so NOT my style) for the ultrasound.  My cervix is great (over 40mm in length and completely bent at 90 degrees) and the babies looked great as well.  I think our Baby A/Boy must love doughnuts as much as us because he was VERY active!  Our Baby B/Girl was fairly active, but we think she might have been in the midst of a sugar coma!  We feel rather certain that these little ones LOVE doughnuts as much as we do!  We left with everything looking great and a weight gain so far of 10 pounds (which included my very swollen ankles...so realistically around 8 pounds)! 

Our next appointment is our "official" anatomy scan and will be done on October 26 at 8am.  While we pretty much know everything looks good at this point, it'll be refreshing to know that everything is "officially" perfect! 

A Dream Comes True!

Today was a magical day for Adam and I!  We got up before 5am this morning to head to Nashville for our first appointment with our new Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor, who will also serve as our full Obstetrician.  We arrived early, so had a leisurely breakfast at Starbucks.  Afterwards, we entered the office at 7:30am so that we could fill out the usual paperwork. 

At 8:00am on the dot, we were taken back for our first "anatomy" ultrasound.  The tech was obviously great at her job, and she quickly started.  As usual, Baby A was moving, but in a calm/mellow fashion.  It didn't take very long at all to realize that Baby A was a Boy...100% and no doubt about it!  He was nicely cooperative and we were able to see everything needed to feel great about his measurements.  Since I just knew that I was carrying two boys, I couldn't help but be happy for Adam.  While we both agreed that this would be our only pregnancy regardless, I knew how badly he wanted a son and I was thrilled that he had his wish!

After we completed Baby A's measurements, we moved on to Baby B.  As usual, this little one was VERY active!  Every measurement was a challenge because this little one just couldn't hold still!  After about 20 minutes, she quietened down enough that the tech was finally able to get her BP diameter and other critical measurements.  Just after that point, she did a nice little flip and allowed us a great look between her legs while showing us her butt.  And needless to say, SHE was clearly a girl!  So...I think our little firecracker may not be all sugar and spice!  She seems to put a regular beating on her brother!  When I saw her, I teared up a bit.  I wanted a girl, but had pretty much given up on my wish.  To actually realize that my dream had come true was just magical!

My fundal height is now above my belly-button!  While I'm only 17 weeks, I measure 22 weeks...despite only gaining 6 pounds so far.  I may not gain an excessive amount of weight, but I think I'm headed toward being rather large in the mid-section...and I can't wait!

After our ultrasound was completed, we waited about 15 minutes to meet our new doctor.  I knew he had a great reputation, but didn't know if I would actually like him or not.  In the end, both Adam and I REALLY liked him and feel confident that he will be a great physician for us!  He outlined our "plan" for care and basically plans to perform a scheduled C-section on the week of February 4.  Now, we just have to pray the babies comply with this plan!

Since I was a young girl, I always said I wanted Boy/Girl twins.  I knew it wasn't likely, but I figured that it was always something to hope for.  I never prayed for this, because I knew that my larger desire was just for healthy children.  Once the infertility nightmare began, I just wanted a baby...whatever we could have  by whatever means would be a miracle.  Amazingly, over 2 years later, I think we have it all!  While the route wasn't what I dreamed of and never could have even imagined, today was the true moment where I realized that our dreams really had come true!  Now...we just need these little ones to hang out and grow for 19 more weeks!  We feel so blessed and happy...it's frankly unbelievable and our prayers have been answered!  For those who have prayed, thank you!  They worked!

Hormone Free, Finally!

One key component of our infertility struggle has been my complete lack of hormone production (other than one high level...which is a bad thing).  As a result, I have required quite a bit of "supplementation" over the past 2 years...just to achieve "normal" levels.  Once we became pregnant, the need for hormones that would support our pregnancy was critical.  Without this support, we would have carried a HUGE miscarriage risk. 

While the average IVF lady takes supplemental hormones for 8 weeks or so, I didn't get that lucky.  Even at 12 weeks, my need for additional support was evident through my laboratory values.  Therefore, I have been on the hormones continuously since June 3 (not to mention for the 3 previous cycles)!  As of today, I'm15 weeks 4 days and have been given the order to stop all of them!

It's so nice to stop all of these meds and it's amazing how much more "normal" I feel this evening!  For us, this is a major milestone in our pregnancy and I'm praying that our bloodwork looks wonderful on Monday.  And, on that note, our next ultrasound is Monday!  I know the babies have grown and can't wait to see them again!!! 

As for the recommendations on pregnancy wear, thanks!  I like the Old Navy stuff, but it simply doesn't fit my body shape (or size for that matter).  I've only gained 6 pounds so far, so I think I'm good for another couple of weeks at least!  I did buy a few long-sleeved t-shirts/tops at Motherhood Maternity last week in addition to my jeans, so I'm good to go for now!  Thank goodness for scrubs!

Stretchy Pants, Oh My

Tonight, I decided it was time to purchase a few maternity things, primarily a pair of maternity jeans (aka stretchy pants) and a few long undershirts.  Since I've only gained 4 pounds so far, I haven't completely outgrown my clothes.  But, the waistline in my current jeans is becoming a tad snug and I figured I might as well take the plunge. 

If you are curious about why I care so much about stretchy pants...here's my story.  When my sister was born and Mom was still in the hospital, I was home with Dad.  He tried to get me dressed for preschool, but I kept taking my pants off.  After a couple of spankings and lots of reasoning attempts, I finally gave up and wore the clothes he had selected...though I was NOT happy (mind you, I wasn't even 3 years old yet)!  I went to the nursery for the day, then he picked me up to take me to the hospital with him.  When I got there, I told Mom that Dad was mean to me and made me wear "baby pants" to the nursery.  In my mind, any pants with elastic bands were for babies...which I did not consider myself any longer!  Dad felt bad and asked my Aunt Kay to make me some "real" jeans without elastic.  She did...and I wore them proudly.  Since then, now almost 33 years later, I have NEVER worn stretchy pants (other than for the 2 months I worked at the hospital as a CNA and had no choice)!  I HATE elastic bands and prefer to tuck in my shirts.  Needless to say, this is all about to change with today being the first step!

Luckily, I don't actually NEED to wear the pants yet...but I know the time is coming.  Until then, they will grace my closet and be "in waiting" for the moment when I have absolutely no other options!  Unfortunately (but for the best reason in the world), I think the moment is coming sooner rather than later!

Our next visit to Nashville is September 17.  I'm hoping we find out the sexes of the babies, but know that it may or may not be possible.  I also finish all exogenous hormones on September 14, which is AMAZING if you consider how much of the past 2 years that I have needed them!  So now, we wait...